What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
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