she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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