Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
