Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
