Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
