a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i out mim tonsoeep
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