I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
