Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize