let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
