Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
