she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
