I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
