Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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