At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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