hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
