worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
