But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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