We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize