Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
This house was built for laser tag.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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