I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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