are you still at the devil's house?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
