I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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