Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
