shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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