I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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