You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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