Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
