Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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