put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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