Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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