i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
