Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
