i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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