he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
