Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
