you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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