I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
