That's when you crack a 10am beer
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Randomize
