When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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