you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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