kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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