I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
