Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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