How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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