so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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