What a fucking waste of an outfit
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
