just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
