my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
