If i come over, it means nothing
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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