she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
