2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
