How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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