took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
