508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
