I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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