I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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