I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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