Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize