Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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