btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
