Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
