glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
