The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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