I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
