There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
