Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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