Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
