everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
