If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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