my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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