She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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