i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
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