He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize