Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
